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February 24th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
For parents who choose not to spank: how do you keep your children in line?
In my opinion, spanking is not the solution to every behavioral issue. I realize that spanking is a choice that parents have a right to enforce or not to enforce. Unfortunately, so many people have turned a traditional spanking into a form of abuse (because they were laid off or have a drug problem or they’re frustrated or they’re just plain mean). However, I don’t understand why so many people are against spanking these days. I was spanked as a child and was a well behaved child. All of the children I grew up with were spanked and well behaved for the most part. The fact remains that children are going to be children. They have to learn and grown into mature humans.
When I am out shopping or at a restaurant, I am amazed at the number of children who talk back and act like heathens in public – and I’m talking all ages. I have witnessed children falling out and laying in the middle of the aisle in Wal-Mart because they can’t get what they want. I see parents walking off, pretending they don’t know their own child, and allowing this behavior. This one kid, who appeared to be about four years old, was kicking and screaming because he wanted out of the shopping cart. He was spitting and swatting at his mother while she talked on her cell phone and acted like he wasn’t acting up.
In restaurants, I have witnessed children crawling under the tables, standing up eating next to the table, playing with their food, rocking back and forth in the chairs, and running around other tables (where other people are trying to enjoy their meals) all while the parents sit and carry on as if they don’t see what’s going on. I have watched parents count from 1, 2, 3, to 10 … wait a minute … I didn’t think they were supposed to count to 10. They threaten their children and the children take them as a joke.
Then you have those who bring those same unruly children to your home, or to someone else’s home, and let them run wild – because that’s what they’re used to doing at home. They mess with things, dig through things, and run around the house like they’re at a playground. You may hear the parent say, “Stop!” or “Don’t’ do that!” or “1, 2, 3 … 10” every now and then but because they allow them to act that way at home they really don’t see a problem. If you say something to the parent about their child, or even worse, ask the child to stop, the parent gets offended and is ready to leave.
What in the world is wrong with people? Most of my family and friends spank their children if necessary and you know what? They may get out of line every now and then but they quickly get back in line because they know their parents have a no tolerance policy. I would like to know – for those who choose not to spank their children, how do you keep them in control. Nine times out of ten it’s the children who don’t get spankings who you see acting like animals in public – or talking back! Not only is it a shame that these children are allowed to act this way, it’s annoying to those who are out and about and have to deal with it while the parents ignore the situation.
Baby – Just because it’s difficult to tell a one year old to sit down and eat dinner, doesn’t mean I’m going to let them act like a fool … in public … or at home.
February 25th, 2010 at 1:26 am
You give them a time-out.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:28 am
use a taser.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:30 am
I keep them in line by spanking their monkey.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:32 am
look, young kids only understand pain and happiness, so u gotta show pain when u dont want them to do something. I dont mean ALL the time but sometimes it calls for it
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:34 am
use the naughty step and dont shout or they will learn to shout back at you
watch supernanny
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:36 am
There is a magical idea called positive reinforcement. Try it!
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:38 am
give them privileges
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:40 am
A punch or kick usually does the trick
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:42 am
Dude, lighten up. Really.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:44 am
They don’t. They let the little monsters run wild. Those are the kids in the grocery store running through the isles talking back to their parents, demanding candy.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:46 am
You take away something that they really love or threaten to do so.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:48 am
teach them the right things and displine at the RIGHT time since they’re born
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:50 am
My mom used to count to three, to get us to do something. It got us so scared she never ever made it to number three. (:
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:53 am
usually yelling or screaming at them works or take away their stuff that is really important to them. You can let learn on their own but what the odds of that?
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:55 am
There have to be consequences for their actions. If you have chores already in place, you can make them do something that no one else does. So while the family is watching a movie or playing a game together, the child in question is cleaning.
There’s also time out, but it takes a while for the child to get used to the fact that they have to stand there. Most will try to walk away or get up. So you’ll have to be right there or in view so that they cannot sneak away.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:57 am
My boys are 4 and 5. We do 3 strikes and they lose their story for the night. But, they cant get 2 strikes for the same thing – for example if we tell them to cut something out, and they dont, they get 1 strike. If they keep doing it, they get a time out. For anything like hitting, which is rarely done, we go right to time out. Anything thats creating a scene in public, also goes to a time out somewhere else.
If the day go’s well, they also get a positive reward, a star on a star chart, that can later be added up to something else. That night too, we also go over the good and bad things for the day, and also if we need to discuss how things could go differently.
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February 25th, 2010 at 1:59 am
by talking to them, giving them a timeout, early bed time, grounding…stuffs like that
im not a parent so i dont know, im only 16…but this is what my parents did to me when i was a child
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:01 am
Well, most parents who don’t spank their kids spoil them by letting them get away with stupid things and when they get away with it the first few times, they know they can get away with it again so people spank their kids because getting whipped hurts. And normal people don’t normally want to be in pain so getting in trouble would equal pain and that really helps keep your kids in line. I’m a teenager and i’m still afraid of my mom whipping me even though i know she probably wouldn’t and guess what? I still love her just as much.
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:03 am
Spanking doesn’t accomplish everything, but my parents whooped up on me when I needed it and I turned out okay. I don’t feel like I was
abused and I am a productive citizen. If you do spank your child should always know that you love them and why you are spanking.
It shouldn’t be done in public. I don’t believe in time-out, but I do
believe in taking away something they like as punishment
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:05 am
Parents these days don’t discipline their children whatsoever, that’s what makes these children so difficult. this generation is very spoiled.
Even though i am from this generation, i was fortunate to have a mother that disciplined me, she did spank a few times, but she would yell at me pretty harshly and such.
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:07 am
Spanking is hitting…how can you tell a child to stop hitting and then hhurt them? anyways, I have two kids who behave very well…I offer them private time…time to think. may sound weak, but they totally choose to behave over being put in a quiet place where I sit with them till they’re ready to obey. People always say "how do you keep your kids so angelic? They’re always sweet.!" and i’ve never spanked them after 4 years!
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:09 am
I do not choose to spank-sometimes it just happens. While spanking is not my ideal discipline choice I have been known to swat a behind every now and then. I just do not spank for every single little thing. I do not like loud, unruly children who act like heathens myself, but these types of children are not made by not spanking, they were made by their idiotic parents who allow them to behave this way.
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:11 am
With my kids I count to 3 in a public place if they can not behave we get up and leave and they get the corner or naughty chair when we get home.If we are at family’s house or friends house they get the corner and when were home they get the corner the only time my kids get spanked and a stern no is if they are going to touch something that could hurt/kill them with an explanation as to why they do not touch these things.
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mom to a 5 yr old 2 yr old and 28 weeks pregnant
February 25th, 2010 at 2:13 am
I can generally talk to my children and get them to understand if I have tried everything I could think of, and nothing seems to work yeah I’ll swat one on the butt (they’ll live) there is a difference between those who parent and those who don’t seem to care. I think you describe the latter. You do not have to spank to discipline, but you have to do something not just ignore it.
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:15 am
I think you answered your own question…
THEY DON’T..
Now I can’t say that every child that has never been spanked is a hellion. I know a few that are very well behaved and have never been spanked. but your right bad behavior is a direct result of the parents not disciplining the child.
a few ways to do that are
time outs’
take away things they like. Game boy TV etc
grounding
MANUAL LABOR> put their sorry asses to work.. rake the yard paint the fence. etc
but nothing beats a good spanking.
a spanking is meant to sting. not bruise or welt
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:18 am
Its wrong to spank, if they do act out send them to a corner for about 5 minutes, and if its in a restaurant tell them to behave and if they don’t tell them no dessert or something like that, and in a store if they do not behave tell them if they do they can some candy, before you do any of this though give them a warning.
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my mom.
February 25th, 2010 at 2:20 am
You can talk like that now because you don’t have any of your own yet it’s different when you have your own kids. Try telling a 1 year old to sit and eat your dinner. You think just because you tell them they are going to do it? Kids learn from U. The person they become is what they learn from your actions not your demands. Good Luck!
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February 25th, 2010 at 2:22 am
We never hurt our children. Now the elder is 18 and the youngest is 11 but we never spank them.
Setting good examples, be parent and a friend, show them how responsible parents we are and most of all shower them with love.
Those are the keys to have a very good family.
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